kadang kadang hati kita salah. kawal perasaan dengan akal.
i am so done being an option, taken for granted and left broken, & i am in the struggle to unchain myself from being constantly in pain of grieving. i fight for myself this time. i know that i will get better in time. time will eventually heal everything.
at some point in life, realize that i am a lover and a fighter. i love too much. i get angry easily and i am working on my anger management. i play, sleep and think too much. but i get my shit done. i don't procrastinate much. music is my best friend. i have too many friends but i realize not everyone is your friend. i am inspired by succesful and hardworking people. as a student, i always remember that i have my parents to impress. my weaknesses are clouds, beach and books. writing is my escapism. and i won't judge your sexuality, decisions, and what you do for living. and i hope you would do the same. i have a thing for kind people. i despise two-faced people. my mom is my only source of everything. it's sad to think i need to rely on my freelance jobs to finance myself. my dad is my only hero. he taught me to always get what i ever wanted in life and work hard for it. i learn about so many things from everything & everyone around me everyday. i don't let many people come into my life but once they are in, i would cherish them forever. i know i am strong and independent and i've been broken before but never shattered. i hope i will be happy & get what i want in life.
Mungkin masih berharap dengan orang yang sama sampai sekarang, but. kalau sudah terbiasa dengan sakit hati dengan perasaan yang seperti ini kita akan lali, dan bila mana orang yang kita taruh harapan yang tinggi datang balik mungkin sudah hilang rasa itu. when people left you, just move on. Just keep your memory with them but forget then. but, will become a stronger person. Sekuat mana pun kita mencuba, kadang kadang kita tersungkur juga, kalah dengan perasaan sendiri. a few weeks ago, on a morning like any other, i had a sudden realization. i was in a danger of wasting my life. "what do i want from life?" i asked myself. "well i want to be happy." i had many reasons to be happy. for this beautiful life, my parents are supportive, i have my love of my life, close friends & having a chance to further my studies and enjoy life. but somehow i lost my temper easily. is that how a happy person would act? well the year is over, and i can say: it did. i made myself happier. and along the way i learned a lot about how to be happier. here are those lessons. 1) buy some happiness. our needs include feeling loved, secure and good at what we do. money doesn't automatically fill these requirements but it sure can help. i've learned to look for ways to spend money to make myself happy. 2) take action. your happiness level is within your control. happiness is a choice. taking time to reflect and making conscious steps to make your life happier, it works. 3) forgive others. forgiveness literally heals the heart. 4) hold meaningful conversations. 5) stay close to your parents. 6) realize that fun is not happiness. fun can be here at any moment. but then it can be gone just as quickly. 7) follow your gut to decide. 8) own yourself. the way you talk, looks, your voice, your personality, embrace your habits, and try to be comfortable in your skin. 9) avoid negative people & vibes. 10) avoid complicated situations where you could find yourself unhappy. if people are persuading you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, don't do it.masa dah berlalu baru kita mula sedar, Allah swt takdirkan kita berundur ke belakang untuk mengambil langkah bagi melonjak lebih tinggi & jauh kehadapan. the hurt and loss of a best friend leaving can often be far harder than you might think. we never expect that our closest confidante will up and leave us. it just is not conceivable. it does happen though. aku ni susah nak berkawan dengan orang. tapi bila ada kawan tu aku jaga sampai mati. tapi adat hidup yang rapat dengan kita akan pergi jugak. betul lah, orang yang dah hilang dan pergi dalam hidup kita, akan digantikan dengan orang lebih baik. percayalah. when i think of all the people who once meant everything to me and now mean nothing, i get a little sick to my stomach. i wonder how it could’ve happened and why things couldn’t have stayed the same. but still, i believe in His plans. always. hey, life is an adventure. you might think i am fine but actually i am not. i am struggling but i still keep going. because pain is temporary. same goes to relationships, they are temporary. same goes to you, you are temporary. everything is temporary. nothing lasts forever. But i am thankful you gave me so much in a short period of time.
Thank you.
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