For one last time

For one last time, I will cry for you. For one last time, I will stop craving for you. For the last time, I will stop making myself miserable for missing you. We are not meant to be. We are just not meant to be. Why the hell I am so stubborn? I should've accept the fact that you are no longer mine. I need a reality check. I should focus on my self-growth. I can't continue being sad like this anymore. It's exhausting. I can't make someone stay in my life if they insist on leaving. I can't make someone love me if they can't accept me anymore. I want to grow as a person. I hope one day when you wake up and find that you are missing me, don't ever find your way back to me. I used to be afraid of losing you and I am losing you. I don't want to be afraid of losing things and people. If it's fated and meant to be, who am I to change my fate?

Maybe I don't need anyone to talk. Maybe I just need time to be alone. Maybe I just need my own space to think. In my own way. All alone.

Start again.

Who are you? Why you are so attractive? Why you have to be so beautiful inside & out? Where have you been before? I am glad I met you. But I am just not ready.

I am not ready to start again. I am still in love with someone from my past. I am still waiting for a miracle to be happened. I've tried my best. I am telling the truth because I want to be genuinely honest with someone I care about. The whole process of moving on, I could say that I am doing well but it takes time and I just want to heal 100% from my old scars so that I will have the strength to start again.

If you are willing to wait for a little bit of time, I promise I will make you the happiest person in the world. I will be a different person. I will do anything and whatever it takes to pursue happiness with you. This is I promise you.

I think it's important to be honest with my condition right now because I don't want to fall in love with someone when I am not ready and I don't want to hurt anyone. Fall in love when you fully move on, not because you want to move on & lonely.

Finding a courage to start again with someone new. It takes time. It takes efforts to let things go. To develop the feelings. Because when someday I let things go, there is no turning back anymore. I won't look back.

I guess I have no special talent. I can't let you go. I can't forget what happened between us. I kept thinking how much I miss you. I will cry because it hurts so much. I have no special talent in forgetting you. I wish I can turn back time and do more for you. I hope I can make you the happiest person in the world. These memories are too precious to me. I have no special talent. I can't unlove you. I can't stop loving you. I can't meet someone new because it's not the same anymore. I can't forget how much you mean to me. Every single thing about you. I have no special talent. I can't forget things you have done for me. Things you've sacrificed in order to make me happy. Now I set you free. Fly high, my love. Because I have no special talent, to make you stay with me.

I don't want to go to the places we've been before. I don't want to listen to those songs. I don't want to miss your hugs and kisses. I don't want to remember how you make me laugh. I personally think the hardest thing is to accept the fact that someone we love so much left us. All alone. The pain of being all alone is just unbearable. Nobody knows how it feels like. We are just feel empty inside. It's hard to accept the reality. It's hard to just continue living our life. That person means everything to us. But somehow we have to accept, we have to forgive, we have to let go because only time will heal us. It takes time to be happy again. It takes time to meet someone new again. Because it's never the same. Loving someone so much and they left. It's the hardest thing, ever. The hardest thing.

- Lucaspeebo.