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365 days multiple to 2 equal to 730 days.




A couple years from now, everything you're stressing about won't even matter. keep moving forward. Because you know He knows, and you do not. 

"And its highly possible that your divorce from your spouse is ease "
"And it is highly possible that delay in having a child or being deprived from one is for the best" 
" so do not be angry and annoyed for everything which happens to you because by the permission of Allah, it is best for you"
"Because He (Allah) knows and you do not know"

My condolences to anyone who lost me haha ok its not funny at all. Im so stress and depressed with what happen in my life now, maybe He want the best for me even though its still hurts, im dying hahahahahaha. I stress about shit i shouldn't be stressing about. I talked to myself for stopped caring about a lot things, I stopped worring about pretty thing and never be overthinking anymore and always be positive as possible as i can. For now, im just feel blessed for those around me they help me and always support whenever when i need. I dont ask many but i hope you okay there, i know its hard for you too but seems like we cant be together. Its hard, i know because i feel the same thing bro. 

2 YEARS,

Forever is a long time, but i wouldn't mind spending it by your side, takpernah menyesal kenal or buang masa bersama. Pernah dengar tak orang cakap 'kalau nak reject orang, reject je terus. Jangan bagi harapan. but this story is not about siapa yang reject siapa. 
Cuma terasa di reject bila buat salah terus cakap 'tawar hati' even people semua tahu yang nampak jahat is me, semua jahat is m, semua baik kau everything good is you. Im not on my side dan bela diri sendiri. Tapi memanglah its all about you lah yang baik. 

The ego distroy us, our me and you. 2 years and more i think that you can understand how my bad and good attitude but seems like you failed, im trying understand you day by day, hsow effort that i want you and you know it how big my obsession on you hek, Then why you tell em' that im not loyal, why ? dont you know how struggled im for care about your heart and not break it ? Kalau bukan angin pokok takkan bergoyang dengan sendiri. kalau bukan diri sendiri yang buat salah jangan expect orang lain buat baik terus, jangan pulak cakap pijak kepala orang bila berbuat baik. 


Pretty hurts, the memory hit me like a storm. at the end im still hoping you in my life, still hope the best. but its okay lah i thinks it just a never ending dream. Im not strong enough for the both of us what i supposed to do ypu know i love you. The mistake that you made is not the first, im warning you first then i give you second chance. Dalam hal ini, bukan dia sorang yang salah aku juga salah. Aku rasa memang dah banyak kali mintak maaf still with his ego and still with my ego. Tetapi tetap bagi kata kata makian, ignore, and blame the situation happen because of me. Hm people make mistake kan, Its Okay! 

I hope you good today, and i know you dont feel right when im leaving. Im outdated, overrated, overthinking and overeacting i cant control my temper, my ego. Meletakkan harapan yang tinggi tak salah, kita yang salah. Jangan salahkan sebab dipertemukan dengan aku, salahkan diri sendiri kenapa boleh sayang dan tahan dengan aku. Think!

5 rules of a relationship : 
1. stay faithful.
2. make them feel wanted.
3. respect your partner.
4. dont flirt with other.
5. make time.
6. Jangan buat perkara yang kita tak suka pasangan kita buat.  

Rasanya lebih dari 5 dah buat kalau nak cakap tuh rules dia. 

Blocked is the best for me kot, its not for ignoring tapi taknak sakitkan hati sendiri dengan post yang sakitkan hati. 

Hati kita masih bingung, akal kita bercelaru. Ambillah masa sebanyak mana kau nak. Im still here.

"Time will heal" 
Dengan berlalunya masa dan sedikit usaha, kita boleh membina kekuatan hati, lebih kuat dari sebelum ini. I hope you can made it. Perkara paling penting ialah diri kita perlu menerim kenyataan. Memang bibir mudah melafazkan "aku redha.." Tapi hakikat hati sendiri yang tahu, redha itu payah nak dapat. Sukar nak dibuat. 

Akibat terlampau melayan ego, akhirnya menyesal. 
Akhirnya memakan diri sendiri. Sudah kurus bertambah kuruslah ni disebabkan makan hati hari-hari.  Sakitnya tuh di sini *laugh*

Memang sakit bila jatuh, bukan senang nak pulih dalam masa terdekat. 
Lelah mana pun kita nak bangun. Jangan pernah kalah. Walaupun ambil masa. Walaupun perlahan-lahan kita naik. 

Sebab, sakit dan luka, hanya sebahagian dari perjalanan hidup. 
Masih ada yang menanti bila kita dah kukuh berdiri. 

Semua perkara yang terjadi adalah bersebab. Suatu hari nanti kita akan tersenyum bila bertemu hikmah yang Allah bagi. If its you im so thankful. 

All memory simpanlah baik-baik. 

You know what? this has been a huge boulder lifted off my chest for me to actually write this out and profess to the world to something i feel very personal about. The this is, i dont feel like myself if i dont share it with you. Thats what happens when you have basically shared everything online for the past 5 years.


After all this, leave me broken. 
well, it might for the best. 

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